Women of the World

When I got home this evening and opened up my laptop for a little blogging time, I wanted to write to you about International Women's Day. I wanted to teach you about the plight of women across the world. I wanted to let ring in your minds the startling statistics surrounding domestic violence, oppressive labor conditions and gender inequality. I wanted to stir your emotions and share all these things with you.

But the truth is, I'm just learning about all these things myself.

I read books about women in this country and abroad who were forced into trafficking circles and other violent situations. I went to Cambodia for a year and looked in the face of these women quoted in statistics about poverty. I talk to people in my own city in Kentucky who interact on a daily basis with women who live in desperation. But despite all this information I take in - despite how much I want to care and sympathize and seek justice - I cannot REALLY understand what it means to bear the burden of a woman in this world.

You see, my reality is an easy one.

From day one, I've had no other option than to choose the high road. I grew up in suburbia, and while those of us who grew up there complain about how dreadfully boring it can be, suburbia presented us with endless possibilities. Girls in suburbia are taught they can achieve anything they want. They can be a doctor or a lawyer or a race-car driver ... it doesn't matter which destiny they choose; they can achieve it as long as they put their minds to it.

I was raised thinking there was no other real options than to go to college, get a job and start your life. And of course, I complied, because achieving anything less would be tragic.

I fulfilled my destiny. I wanted to go to college, so I went to college. I wanted to travel the world, so I traveled the world. I wanted to become Ms. Editor at a Magazine, so I became Ms. Editor at a Magazine.

This is wonderful. Each and every day I feel blessed that this is my life. But when I read a statistic such as 60 percent of chronically hungry people are women and girls, I can't help but feel guilty and a little sad that I don't have the ability to understand what this reality is like. So while I want to seek justice and take action on the wars women face, I find myself hitting brick walls, because to me it isn't real.

But on this day, International Women's Day, a day when we attempt to make the future better for the women whose lives haven't been so easy, I want to say thanks to all the women I've met who are doing amazing things to improve the woman's condition. You ladies are my reality. You are fighting on the campaign field, bringing joy to others through dance, educating people in all walks of life, raising kids who aren't your own, sharing your faith in a foreign land, advocating for the disadvantaged, and making use of a beautiful language. You are the true loveliness of this world.

Photo thanks!

Cambodia Issues Make American News

For those who are interested, ABC News is doing a short series on sex-trafficking in Cambodia and you can check out the stories below. Reading these just reminds me of the amazing men and women, both Cambodian and foreign, I got to know in my year there who are dedicating their lives and sacrificing their own comfort for a larger cause - whether it be fighting trafficking, providing education in its many forms or working toward economic development. My life has been blessed getting to know these people. Thanks for your hard work.

Stories from ABC News:
Tracking American Pedophiles in Cambodia
How to Help End Sexual Exploitation

Considering Arranged Marriages

One of my best Khmer friends in Phnom Penh is an outgoing, modern girl with a high optimism toward life. Because I struggle with the mindset of this society rooted in steep traditions, I admire her vivacious spirit. But as I have witnessed, even forward-thinking people like her, at one point or another, feel the constraints that cultural traditions sometimes hold.

Over the past week, she has been turmoiled by a family conflict. Her parents asked her to consider a suitor for an arranged marriage.

As a 23-year-old in patriarchal Cambodian society, my friend is considered "getting old." It's not uncommon for girls to marry around the age of 18 or younger, as was the case with her older sister. However, she is ok with her age. Still feeling young in a world full of possibilities, she doesn't want to marry for economic obligations, but for love.

To western ears this sounds simple enough, but assume the gendered lens of a culture where children live to please their parents and girls especially hold the burden of being family peacemakers and servants, the proposition hasn't been easy for my friend. She doesn't want to make family rifts, but the thought of marrying a Cambodian American she met once and being shipped off to the states sets her world off balance.

Her family is a pretty congenial, open-minded one. For example, when she decided to leave the Buddhist faith and become Christian, ger family wasn't completely happy at the move, but allowed her to make that decision without much reproach. In this air of openness she shares with her family, she has already expressed her opposition to arranged marriages yet still feels the pressure of keeping everyone happy. If given a proposition, she has the opportunity to say no, which means a tough decision for her.

The thought of arranged marriages seems archaic and ancient doesn't it? Coming from a place where it a purported right to marry as you please. But is one method better than the other? Many arranged marriages work out where many based on love fail. Interesting thought, isn't it?

I, for one, would hate to be forced into something I didn't want to do, but I can't say whether one way is better than the other. What are your thoughts on the matter?

For more information on what arranged marriages are all about in Cambodia and elsewehere, read these articles:
Arranged Marriage Facts
Cambodian Marriage

Photo courtesy www.heleneauge.com.

Not Quite an Irrawaddy Dolphin

This week has completely flown by and I haven't even had the chance to update you on my amazing weekend.

For starters, on Saturday night I went with some friends to see the Phnom Penh expat community's version of The Vagina Monologues, of which my friend Betsy (see girl in green on your left) played the narrating role. The cast did an amazing job and all proceeds benefited the local NGO Women Peacemakers, which combats domestic violence here in Cambodia. Read more about the women's work behind the play here.

Second exciting event of the weekend was the Mekong River Swim. Now, if you think that getting up at 7:00 on a Sunday morning to swim 780 meters across the questionable waters of Southeast Asia's most prominent river is crazy, then call me crazy. To tell you the truth, I was not at all prepared for the difficulty of this swim. Sure, I can keep myself from drowning, but to call myself a proper swimmer, let alone a strong swimmer - that's just laughable.

The swim is an event held by the expat community every year for the past 14 years. Every year, the same French guy wins. This year he made it from bank to bank in just over 7 minutes. I, adopting the theory that slow and steady will get me across safely, made it in 24. But I made it! When in Cambodia...



In just two weeks, I'll be traveling north to Kratie to see the rare freshwater Irrawaddy dolphins that also bath in the Mekong. I think from now on leave the river running to them.

Keeping me busy this week was the university's 5th Asia Economic Forum. Now, usually talk of the economy stresses me out (especially when I think about how I need to find a job less than three months from now). However, the top leaders who participated in the conference, which focused on how the global crisis is affecting Asia, touched on interesting topics such as social entrepreneurship, climate change and non-traditional securities like food, water and energy, making for a stimulating couple of days.

(P.S. Thanks Betsy for letting me steal your photos!)

Daughter, Mother, Sister

It's no secret that in Cambodia human rights is a concept that some believe passionately in promoting while others seem to have no comprehension of the concept. In the workplace, in homes behind closed doors, and out in public venues, it's not uncommon to see evidence of abuse or sheer lack of respect among the people of this country. The raw inhumanity some people possess is devastating. (Of course, I have to say some because as epidemic as this problem is, I hate generalizations. I know wonderful, beautiful Cambodians who, in fact, do the opposite of perpetuating this sort of hatred.) This article from the BBC, however, will give you an idea of the sort of mentality that runs through this country. One where women are second class citizens and abuse isn't just ignored, it's accepted.

Maybe you have heard stories about women of Southeast Asia who work in brothels or who were sold into sex slavery. Today, I visited the organization called Daughters, where a friend of mine works as a nurse. Daughters is an organization that provides free medical care for brothel workers and jobs for those who choose to leave the industry. There are so many great organizations here who are using their professional specializations -- whether it be medical care, counseling, legal advisory, or entrepreneurship -- to fight the industry that is destructive to these women's dignity.

However, the reality of Cambodia is that it isn't just women in brothels who have to live their lives in fear in being the victims of violence. As the article above mentions, nearly a quarter of Khmer women are victims of domestic violence. Daughters, mothers and sisters who live ordinary lives, like you or me, face this fear as well. One evening last week, I was at the ANDC Center for an event with the kids, and as 8:00 p.m. rolled around one of the Khmer volunteers hurriedly grabbed her moto and hit the road for home.

"For Cambodian women, it's unsafe to be out much later than 8 o'clock," she told me. While Western women don't have to worry so much, as we are seen to possess a higher level of power and will mostly likely only be the targets for petty crimes, Khmer women have to give caution to more brutal forms of violence.

International Women's Day isn't for another month, but I thought this would be interesting to give some thought to as V-day approaches this weekend. Valentine's Day might be a happy time of chocolate and roses, but how much more productive is the V-day that is the global movement to end violence against women and girls. To read more about the movement and how it is effecting the world, visit this website.